It is official our home now belongs to a new family. We officially closed today. All documents are recorded and all funds have been transferred.
I know I should be grateful we were able to sell our home in a down real estate market - especially how quickly we were able to sell it, despite the fact that we lost a ton of money in the sale. The fact remains, that was my house. We built memories there. We expected to stay. That was our forever house.
Normally I would post pictures of the house with this entry. However, I can't stand to look at the pictures. This past Sunday, while in church, Ryan was flipping through pictures on his phone. He stopped on a picture of Audrey's fourth birthday - she sat in front of a fun cake decorated in light blue and green frosting (favorite colors) adorned with chocolate animals - in my dining room. It hit me, just like that - it doesn't belong to me anymore, I burst into tears. I tried to stop. I really tried to stop but couldn't - so there I sat in church, balling my eyes out because I saw a picture of a family memory recorded in our home - that no longer belongs to us.
I am so thankful to be in Florida. I love it here. We are making friends and we will look into buying a house in the next year. I just need to mourn.
Perhaps this will seem completely ludicrous to some, it is only a house. But to me it wasn't - we chose that house because we expected to be in it forever. As a mom that stays at home, that home became, in large part, my identity.