Traditions...

Shortly after Ryan and I were married I was anxious to have children and Ryan was more concerned about both of us graduating college. One morning I woke up from having a shocking dream. In my dream there were two little girls - they looked fairly close in age - the girls were holding hands and the older one spoke, "why are you waiting so long to have us?" The dream was so real to me that I felt anxious. As you know, my first baby was a boy and immediately Ryan discounted my dreams from then on. Well, maybe my dream had some meaning after all...

My ultrasound today was a decent experience. We were able to see all of the vital organs, everything was measured and looks right on for how far I am along, and I have some good pictures of the profile. The baby is breach right now, which doesn't mean much because I will have sixteen more weeks for the little thing to squirm around. It was more difficult to detect gender because the bottom is down. However, the tech checked four times and each time she thought it is probably a girl but there is no definite answer because it could have been hiding from the view we were given. But, the tech didn't tell me what we were looking at and I thought "oh, that looks like two legs and a little bottom...gosh, that must be a girl." Each time the tech confirmed my thought that it is probably a girl. We have decided on the name Elysse Jayne. If it happens to turn out to be a modest boy, his name will be Lincoln Joseph. But I think we should be expecting a girl.

Nathan has wanted a boy. However, for a brief moment he thought he wanted to have a girl so that he could name her Peaches (because of the Ice Age Dawn of the Dinosaurs movie). When I pick Nathan up from school in an hour I am going to break the news to him that he is probably going to have another sister and if he wants, he can call her Peaches. Audrey said, "oh, I wanted Yinkin." L sound isn't her specialty yet. But she doesn't seem to really care one way or the other.

One who knows me well would think that not having a definite answer is driving me crazy - I am such a planner. However, I am totally fine not knowing. I do expect that the baby is a girl but it doesn't really matter. I have saved all of the clothes, equipment, etc. and I already plan on painting the room a soft green. If Elysse shows up there will be purple accents and if Lincoln comes along we will have navy blue accents. The only thing that is a bummer is that I am going to have to dig out the smallest boy and girl clothes and wash them, just in case we do have a boy. Ryan didn't understand how we could get such good pictures of the baby and still not know if it is a boy or a girl. At any rate, he is really surprised by the prognostication. He expected that we were having a boy and he claims that he isn't going to believe anything until we see the baby for ourselves. But he's thrilled either way, just a little difficult to think about it with everything still ongoing with Audrey.

Maybe this will help me to ward off my friends from having a baby shower. I really don't want to have one - we are fully stocked with all of the clothing - any more outfits and we will need to build another closet. The only thing I really need are hangers!!! My order to Pottery Barn for the quilt will just have to wait. If you are interested in looking it is on the Pottery Barn Kids website and it is the Lavender Katie Patchwork Quilt - since the baby won't be sleeping in a twin bed for at least two years there isn't a hurry in ordering - especially since it isn't on sale yet anyway.

Home Sweet Home

We have arrived! We pulled into town Monday afternoon around 4:00 p.m., picked Nathan up from our friends house and before we made it home we received a phone call from a physical therapist's office asking if I could come in for an evaluation and visit. Before going home I went and had my appointment. (Apparently I have an inverted pelvic bone that is under extreme stress from being pregnant and causing the pain. We are working on turning the bone. I have exercises and streaches to do that seem to help with the pain. I am also wearing a pressure belt which enables me to walk better.

Audrey does have the BK Virus - bladder/kidney virus. We have all been exposed to it and are likely carriers; however, with a good immune system we would not nescessarily show any symptoms. Since Audrey's immune system is non existant and her platelets were low she experienced the blood in her urine and the pain that goes with that. She twice had a platelet infusion which resulted in the blood stopping and the pain was also aleviated. Even though it is a virus there are antibiotics that could help - however if she is not experiencing the symptoms it is better not to treat the virus because the drugs are toxic and can cause problems in the kidneys. On Tuesday we spent three hours in the clinic. There were several things we had to do since it had been so long since she was evaluated here. She also underwent an x-ray of her chest due to a bad cough she picked up over the weekend. The x-ray looks good. Her back is severely burnt from the proton radiation - we expected this. There is a special topical cream we put on her back twice a day until it clears up. She would normally have chemo this weekend but the radiologist wants us to wait a week to give her back a chance to recover before giving her chemo.

It was so nice coming home. Even the garage was a welcome sight. Some friends, Becky and Amaron, came over during the day and cleaned the house in preparation for our arrival. They did a phenominal job - the wood floors and stainless appliances have never looked so good. Ryan figures they spent at least four hours working!

This Friday I go to my OB appointment for my ultrasound. This Saturday will be 24 weeks. I will probably post next month some time the gender of the baby. Just kidding. After I text family I will probably come home and order the quilt I have already picked out (depending on what I find out) and then I will post to let all of my followers know! I assume I will be having a boy. See, in my family on my mom's side all of her siblings have had two boys and a girl - and it generally turns out to be boy, girl, boy - so who am I to break tradition? I do have one cousin, Max, that broke the tradition but he still went everyother: girl, boy, girl.

Still Waiting

We do not have any definitive answers as to what is causing Audry to have blood in her urine. Last night she was given platelets. The blood has either slowed or completely stopped. However she still has pain when she urinates. We are supposed to have answers - at least preliminary - this afternoon. She also had a blood transfusion this morning.

I had to be the "mean mother bear" last night. We requested pain medication from the nurse and waited 2 1/2 hours. I spoke with the resident and told her I felt like we were getting the weekend brush off. She had the doctor on call, call me directly to discuss some of my concerns. I was very blunt, concerned and stated my case well. I even threatened to take her back to Asheville if we had to wait for this that and the other thing until Monday. After telling the Dr. that I was about ready to drive to Walgreen's to buy Audrey Tylenol myself the nurse came to the room with what we had requested hours before.

I am so grateful the bleeding has stopped. Now I am ready for answers.

Major Problem

Audrey has been emotional now for a week. Figured out she is getting some molars. She then started having problems passing stool. I have her a suppository. It seemed to work and then other issues began.

This morning when coming for a make-up proton appointment we discovered blood in her diaper. As soon as she is finished here we are taking her to the ER.

Delay

Alright... Well, there is a reason for the delay in blog posting. I have not been able to be out of bed more than four hours per day due to my back/leg issues. I am in so much pain. Ryan and Nathan came down last weekend. We had a wonderful weekend considering all of the pain I was in. We stayed at a hotel on the beach and were lucky enough to have a view of the beach! We also went to the Alligator Farm in St. Augustine. We also spent a few hours at the walk-in clinic. I had a cortisone shot in my lower back and the next day I went back, practically in tears begging for something more. I was then given a lidocane shot in my hip. Neither seemed to help. I have started icing it and that seems to provide some temporary relief. I also stopped going to the chiropractor after eight visits. It looks as though I will have to get an MRI when I get back - depends on what the OB thinks.


The other delay has been with Audrey's proton radiation treatment. The machine has been down the last two days and we are now two treatments behind. They plan to make up one this Saturday but it pushes us back to Monday the 22nd coming home to Asheville. It also messes up our plans to go to Venice this weekend. I think we will be pushing that back a weekend - now that we are stuck an additional weekend. This would be so much more bearable if I weren't in so much pain. I am grateful I am not alone. Ryan's mom has been such a good sport. She has been here since the second week and will be sticking it out with us. When I get home my mom will be coming down. Until my pain recedes I can't be alone. Could this all be happening so I can admit that I can't do everything on my own? If that is the lesson I need to learn - I have learned it. I can't do it on my own and I am getting very good at asking for help. So can the test be over?

Hospital

Audrey's counts are high enough. We are being admitted to the hospital in the next hour or so. She should be released on Friday at some point - just in time for Ryan and Nathan to come. We are spending the weekend on the beach - it might rain and be cold but we will be together for our last time in Jacksonville. They will not be coming down on the 12th and we will be heading home on the 19th.

PS. I read Dear John in the past two days, became emotional, cried, etc. I would like to see the movie but not until it comes out on DVD so I can sit and watch it by myself with a box of kleenex. Maybe we should all write Nicholas Sparks and ask him for a happy ending sometime!