2:30 a.m.

I woke up in the night to hear Nathan coughing from his bedroom upstairs. His coughs were so hard and intense I thought he was going to be sick. I woke Ryan so he could go to the store and get some cough medicine and I went up to sit with Nathan. He was overjoyed to have company in his room in the middle of the night. It took only a couple of minutes before he was fully awake and fully talkative! We talked for the next twenty minutes while we were waiting on the medicine.

After Ryan returned we gave Nathan his dose of Tylenol Cold and were preparing to leave his room. When we had a very interesting conversation. I had mentioned a dream I had about Audrey wanting to buy property in Florida to build a house (talk about parent's dreams being pushed through the children). Nathan then had a few questions. He asked about living in North Carolina forever and expressed his desire to live here. But then he said if Audrey moves to Florida as a mom I will move wherever she does. Ryan piped up and told her that he could only do that if he is married. To which Nathan replied, "I want to be married in the temple."

Despite the fact that this conversation was at 3 a.m. it was sweet. Nathan loves his sister and wants to be wherever she is. And the fact that he is so young and has the goal and desire to be married in the temple is so wonderful and exactly what we as his parents wanted to hear.

Rewind Please

Photo taken by Ruth Thompson - on her visit from Washington State

On Wednesday, October 21st I was a normal, happy mom working from home and staying home with my babies. Audrey, Bella, Sophia and I were playing in the television room when I noticed an odd bump on Audrey's back. I had felt it the day before while playing in the playroom but dismissed it as her shoulder blade. Upon further inspection I realized that it was certainly some type of abnormal growth. I called Ryan, completely panicked - near tears, not sure what to do. We decided to immediately call our pediatrician's office to set up an appointment.

Thursday morning at 9:30 we arrived to our pediatrician's office where they nearly immediately sent us over to the hospital for a chest x-ray which then turned into an ultrasound and then an MRI. The radiologist said that the mass has "characteristics that are not typically benign." They have ruled out fatty cysts that typically occur in young children. However, what they do see is centralized in one area and it is not in any organs or bone. It is also in a "good" place on her back under her left shoulder blade not in the front of the chest or near lymph nodes where cancerous cells can often spread quickly. While we do not yet know if this growth is cancerous - I don't have much hope that it isn't.

We have spent much time talking, crying, planning and wondering. My heart hurts. I am scared, worried and sometimes lifeless. We are a strong, close family and this is the most difficult thing we have ever been faced with. Audrey received a Priesthood blessing on Sunday. Nathan is still trying to figure out why I cry about Audrey's lump - even though we have explained how scary this is because we don't know anything about it- he is still confused.

I just want a rewind - to be that happy mom playing in the playroom with my children worrying about what to make for dinner tonight.

Back in the Saddle Again

For those of you who have known me for most of my life have known that I have been involved in childcare since I was twelve. After Nathan was born I started a home daycare when we lived in Florida. At one time I had six children - four two year old boys, a baby boy and a three year old girl! After moving from the Gulf Coast of Florida and having Audrey, I decided that I would not be involved childcare anymore. However, upon moving to Asheville I met a wonderful friend, Carrie Harmon. Within the past few months she and her family decided to move away from the area. Carrie had been watching two little girls - Bella and Sofia. Anyway, to make a long story a bit shorter I have begun to watch the girls and they are both such a joy. Sophia 9 Months
Audrey and Bella in the playroom!

Homemade play dough so much fun.

Gymnastics

Audrey has started going to toddler gymnastics. The program is great. Toddlers and parents are given on hour to use all of the gym equipment and play around. The first week Audrey was a natural at the balance beam. She took a few turns on the trampoline and even learned how to do a somersault with some assistance - and learned the technique of placing her hands on the floor and "kissing her belly" to have the correct posture for the flip! We have now been three times. Friday or gymnastic day has been the most anticipated day of the week!

Birthday

Yes, I am now 28 years old. Doesn't feel any different. I don't know why growing older doesn't bother me. This December Ryan will turn 30 and he isn't excited about it at all. I laugh at him because he seems so weird about it. I just keep reminding him that he is in a wonderful place for 30 - married, with two children, finished with his education, at a job that he loves, and of course - making mortgage payments - which means we partially own a home!

Anyway, since my birthday was on a Monday I thought I would make the most of it and have a birthday weekend! Well, I don't know if that really worked out but we did take a ride on the Blue Ridge Parkway. It is so beautiful this time of year. We went to one of the most popular places Graveyard Fields and took a hike to the waterfall. The kids love going on hikes - especially when we allow them to carry sticks so they can "hunt and fish."

Asheville and Rainbows

As we were driving away from Nathan's kindergarten he asked, "Mom, why don't we have a rainbow on our car?"

October

Is anyone else going crazy because it is already October? Didn't school just start? It is amazing how quickly time goes.

Fortunately I am a freak and I already have half of my Christmas shopping complete. Also, we have decided not to get gifts for Nathan and Audrey this year. They have so many things already and our annual trip to Michigan is sort of their "gift." (Not to mention that they have several aunts, uncles and two sets of grandparents that do more than their share in providing for our children!) I have never liked the whole Santa Christmas tradition anyway. I guess part of that has to do with feeling like birthdays are the best days ever - one day set aside to celebrate you. We do our best to be sure that the children's birthdays are the best. As Nathan always insists, birthdays need balloons, presents and cake! For right now all Audrey cares about is CAKE!