Thanksgiving 2010

Ryan's entire family came down for Thanksgiving. This was a really big deal because we haven't all been together in nearly two years. Ryan's brother, Steve, and his family met Elysse for the first time.

As you can tell, Nathan and Audrey didn't want to cooperate for the photo shoot.

Top: Tonya, Ryan, Sandy, Steve, Rosie

Middle: Audrey, John, Elysse, Maureen

Bottom: Nathan, Alaina, Zachary

The boys got along well playing Legos !

(Zachary is a long time fan of Legos and Nathan is just learning about them.)

The girls enjoyed manicures and pedicures.

Monday Ryan's mom flew in from Florida and Rosie and Alaina flew in from Michigan.

Tuesday while Nathan was in school and Ryan was at work the girls had a "Girls Day" that began with manicures and pedicures and ended with a nice lunch out.

Wednesday Ryan's dad, Steve and Zachary arrived in the late morning. They drove in from Michigan.

Thursday the guys took the kids over to Sandy's to watch the Detroit Lions play football. While we ladies stayed at my house pretending to be super busy in the kitchen. Our dinner was simple but delicious with turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, corn and biscuits. For dessert we had pumpkin bars, apple pie and chocolate pudding pie.

Friday the guys were suppose to go golfing but the weather didn't cooperate. Instead we all headed to the bowling alley and played a couple of games. The bowling alley is smoke free and it was wonderful! We had a really good time.

Saturday the guys took Zachary and Elysse over to Sandy's to watch Michigan State football (they ended the season 11-1) while the rest of us went to see the new Disney movie, Tangled. I really enjoyed the movie, nearly cried, basically it was an animated chick flick. If you have little ones just know that this Disney movie follows the pattern of all others that have come before - there is an archvillain character that tends to be scary.

Thus ended our Thanksgiving weekend. Now I am looking forward to Christmas when we will be traveling up to Michigan. My family has also not been together for two years - so we will have another reunion next month.

Writing

I have started writing our story about Audrey's diagnosis and everything that has happened since then. It is going slow because I sometimes choose not to write based on - I don't want to cry and feel like garbage. I do have a few pages (totally rough and not edited) and I will eventually add more. But retelling the story brings up so many emotions and fears about the future.

Saving Money

It all started after we moved into our home in North Carolina in May of 2008. For the first time since we were married (2002) we had a mortgage payment. Adjusting to a mortgage payment wasn't too difficult because we were also were getting a real paycheck. After our first year in our home we decided to refinance our mortgage which ended up giving us a much better interest rate and thus reducing the total amount of our monthly mortgage payment. In talking with several people, my mom included, we decided we were going to pay more than our minimum monthly mortgage payment which will cut down on the length of our mortgage and the amount of interest paid over the life of our loan.

I expected that when Ryan began working he would go out to eat everyday (that is what the attorneys that I worked for in MI did EVERYDAY). He had other plans. He brings a lunch to work nearly everyday. Imagine spending $7-$11 for lunch everyday at the end of the month that translates to a $140-$220 bill - not to mention the calories!

When we moved into our home we put a nice flat screen television in our bedroom and one in the basement. After some time we decided to move the television our of our bedroom for a couple of reasons (1) we wanted to put it in an exercise room (2) we would probably accomplish more during the day and go to bed earlier at night if it wasn't in there. I will admit it took some adjusting but I survived and now I actually prefer not having it in there. With the television out of my bedroom I realized how much less television I watch. I mentioned to Ryan that if it wasn't for his love of sports we could just get rid of satellite television all together. It didn't take long before Ryan had a plan. We purchased a Sling Box that he was then able to hook up to his sister's internet and satellite box that will allow Ryan to watch anything on her Direct TV package through his computer (yes, this is totally legal!). Now we no longer have a television bill each month. Any network shows that we want to watch we can also access through the network websites - you just can't watch the shows live but the next day isn't bad especially when considering you watch far fewer commercials. Ryan's entire family thinks we are nuts.

While Audrey is in gymnastics the parents sit outside a wall of glass. I have made a couple of really good friends during this time. One week we were sitting there and this mom that is always on her cell phone (I call her the cell phone mom) pulled out this binder with baseball card protector sheets full of coupons. The other mom I was talking (Tanya) to and I were totally shocked. Cell phone mom became coupon mom. The next week Tanya and I were discussing how we could never be organized enough to coupon in the way that coupon mom does and we wouldn't want to shop all over town to get the best deals because we simply don't have enough time. Well when coupon mom walked in I decided to talk to her. Before the 45 minute class was over I was convinced. I can coupon! I have learned so much and I love it. At some point I will put up a post just about couponing! Though I am saving money - quite a lot, actually - I am not one of those women you see on television that can buy a months worth of groceries for a family of four on a $75 budget.

In order to save money I also cut Ryan and Nathan's hair. I started cutting Ryan's hair shortly after we were married. I didn't like doing it and actually stopped for awhile. When we moved to FL I decided I was going to do it again. Yes, I did make him look ridiculous more than once - a great friend of mine, who does hair professionally, had us over and showed me how to give Ryan a good cut. Now I do not mind it and I am actually good at cutting their hair. Just this week I have decided that I am going to give up my blonde highlights because they are SO expensive and try out my natural color for 6 months to a year and see how I feel about it. Once upon a time my hair really was naturally blonde but age and having children have darkened my hair over the years. Who knows, maybe it will be just the change that I need...

Recently I was reflecting on all of the wonderful things we do to save money. We thought these things through and I enjoy the challenge as well as the results. I am a mom that stays at home and therefore I do not financially contribute to my family. I feel like finding ways to save money and implementing them is one way I can contribute to our families financial health.

These Days

Finally! A smile for the camera. She often gives us big smiles but this is a first for the camera. These days Elysse is rolling over both ways - still with a lot of effort. We think she is going to have a fantastic sense of humor as she laughs all of the time and it seems as though she even finds herself to be funny.

Check out the bottom row of teeth. Nathan had two teeth pulled at the dentist office last week. He had an adult tooth growing in behind the two middle lower level teeth. The baby teeth were not giving up so we had to have them pulled. I am grateful that the kids have "chicklet style" teeth. I think it reduces the chance that they will have to have braces in the future!

Both Nathan and Audrey were awarded in the past couple of weeks. Nathan's certificate is for being a great safety passenger on the school bus and adhering to all of the rules. Audrey's is for being recognized as having the cutest costume at the Fall Festival.

Okay, everyone knows about my obsession with a clean house - yup, Audrey is in training. She wants to be big and take on all of the responsibilities around the house - including running the vacuum cleaner that is taller and probably only weighs slightly less than she does.

Can I just say I am so thankful for this bed head!!!

Pajamas

So, is it bad that it is nearly 1 p.m. and I am still sitting in the house in my pajamas? I don't plan on getting dressed for the rest of the day either. If you could see what it looks like outside here in Asheville, you would think it a wise decision. We had a junky day yesterday as Audrey had a temperature of 102 and we had to go to the clinic for four hours of fluids and antibiotics via IV. That doesn't have much to do with today though. My house has never been messier! I keep thinking about all of the things I have to do (mostly cleaning around the house) and it makes me want to crawl back into bed and put the covers over my head. Luckily Audrey is doing much better. It looks like she developed an ear infection that caused a fever and a very fragile little girl. She is enjoying the pajama day today as well - not to mention the endless videos at her disposal...

Halloween 2010

Since Halloween falls on Sunday this year we will not be Trick or Treating in the normal door to door way we generally do in our neighborhood. Instead, we had a fun fall festival at church. In the past we have attended the church fall festival and also went trick or treating; however, we explained to the kids that we will not be doing that this year because Halloween falls on the Sabbath. To our surprise, they were completely fine with it. We had a great time. There was a chili contest, games for kids, trick or treating in classrooms and in the hall, a haunted house, prizes and awards for games and costumes, etc. They ate way too much candy and stayed up too late but that is sort of what it is all about, right?

All is Well

Audrey's tests went very well. She is free and clear of any cancer cells as far as the MRI and CT Scans can show. The doctors feel it is time to schedule Audrey's port removal. I am sort of hoping for the 28th of October as that is when her tumor was removed last year - it would be nice wrapping everything up in a year...what a long year this has been...

SCHEDULED FOR 10/29 AT 9:00 A.M.

Anniversary

One year ago today I was playing with my sweet daughter and our lives forever changed. While I was playing with her I felt something on her back that didn't seem right. After looking further I discovered the lump on her back. I immediately called Ryan to see what we should do. Within minutes I made an appointment with our pediatrician for the following morning. An hour later I discovered that I was pregnant.

After Ryan arrived home we discussed the possibilities of what we were facing with Audrey I was overcome with emotion. I could hear myself tell him that we were never going to have more children because of this uncertainty; yet, I knew I needed to tell Ryan about the baby we were expecting. It was too much information for one night. Too much to think about. I couldn't be excited about being pregnant though we had been hoping for another baby for over eighteen months. I convinced myself that if I had to loose a child it couldn't be a child that I already had and loved. For the longest time I could not let myself love this new baby as I never expected to hold it.

That night my mind raced. Sleep was not a possibility. I thought of the worst possibilities. I kept thinking of my faith the knowledge that I have that families are eternal. I know that we have a Father in Heaven that loves us and knows us individually and that he has an eternal plan so we can return to Him and live in His presence again - but at that point, I didn't care. I didn't want my sweet little girl to leave me. I kept saying over and over that I want her to grow and experience all of the wonderful things this life has to offer. My heart hurt and not knowing what we were dealing with was suffocating.

The following day we were told by the radiologist that the mass had characteristics that were not typically benign. At that moment I knew we were dealing with cancer. Cancer in a little innocent girl, my little innocent girl.

The next three weeks was a living nightmare. In that time we met with a pediatric surgeon, had the tumor removed, were introduced to Dr. Beaty a pediatric oncologist and had a port placed under Audrey's skin to make her more easily accessible for chemotherapy.

Now, a year later she has survived chemotherapy and proton radiation. She is a stronger, healthier girl because of the experiences she has had over the past year. We, as a family, have learned together, struggled together and grown together. Our family came together and helped in so many ways. Our friends whom we already thought were great were able to truly astound us with their love and willingness to help. We have made many new friends. We have met three of the most incredible doctors and entire staff of nurses that we have grown to love and care about. We have been included in a fantastic group of pediatric cancer patients. And that little baby we found out about the same day Audrey's mass was discovered has entered our family and has our love and affection.

Our lives will forever be changed. Though we will never be glad for our experiences regarding Audrey's health, we have taken what she was dealt and have grown from it. Our baby girl is a fighter. She has gained so much knowledge and compassion from what she has gone through it will shape her for the rest of her life. Many people have said that due to her young age she will probably forget most of it. I hope for her sake she doesn't. I hope she remembers her family holding her tight. I hope she remembers the care that she had in the clinic and hospital. I hope she remembers the friends we have made. I hope she remembers the nurses who love her. I hope she remembers her strength and courage. I know that due to these trials she will make a difference in someone else's' life the way she has mine.

Tomorrow, the anniversary of her first MRI, we go in for her second set of scans (MRI and CT scans) post chemotherapy. If all of the information is favorable and the tumor bed is still clear and there is no more growth of cancer cells we will schedule the removal of her port, another step closer to a healthy life.

A Fun Coincidence?

There is an opening for a position at The Van Winkle Law Firm where Ryan works. The position is for a litigation attorney as one of the associates will be leaving to work for the government in Nashville, TN. Maybe it is the Tennessee connection but I started thinking about some friends we made while in Miami, Jeremy and Rebecca Killpack. Jeremy was finishing law school the same time Ryan finished his LLM. Before Jeremy graduated he already lined up a job on the west coast of Florida - he is the main reason I started getting crazy about finding a job before Ryan finished his LLM. After awhile Jeremy left the firm where he stared and moved to Tennessee practicing in a different area of law.

Anyway, I started to think of them because of the position opening at the firm. So I sent Rebecca an email with info on the opening. Within a couple of hours the phone rang - it was Rebecca and believe it or not she and her girls were was in Asheville and Jeremy was going to be flying into the airport later that night. After talking for a few minutes we realized they were staying at a hotel right off our exit.

We had Rebecca and the girls over for dinner and the kids had a great time playing. I am still upset with myself for not getting any pictures. Jeremy is enjoying his own position at this point and will not be applying for the position with Ryan's law firm but it was still a fun coincidence I sent the email the same day they were three minutes down the street.

Tomorrow ... 29.

Tomorrow I will be 29. Growing older has never been an issue for me and it still isn't. As I begin my final year of my 20s I decided to give myself my first birthday gift - a clean house and freshly shaved legs. I love the feeling of a clean house, the smell, the comfort, the ease...a wonderful feeling. And what the heck after cleaning house for 11 straight hours (and a bunch of mommy stuff in between) I had to take a shower before crawling into bed - so why not have freshly shaved legs to go along with a clean house!